This is a voice that will surely be missed:

"The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I'm left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can't quite remember"

"When they print the year's of someone's birth and death, can you resist figuring out how old they were?"

"If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work."

"Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big."

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music."

"The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out."

"Things you never hear: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.'"

"I think it would be fun to go on Jeopardy and never buzz in. Just stand there for half an hour, never talk, and then go home."

"A lot of these people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt."

"They said on the news that tests on monkeys showed HIV can be transmitted through oral sex. What I want to know is, who had to blow the monkeys?"

"I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore."

"I get a nice safe feeling when I see a police car, and I realize I'm not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine."

"One of the best expressions in the English language is, 'Who says so?' I guarantee, if you keep saying, 'Who says so?' long enough, sooner or later someone will take you into custody."

"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth."

"In the United States, anybody can be president. That's the problem."

"I made a bargain with the devil: I would get to be famous, and he would get to fuck my sister."

"I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it."

"I hope reincarnation is a fact so I can comeback and fuck teenagers again."