By: David Schultz

More than 25 years ago, John Mellencamp began his career under the name John Cougar, a name he claimed was foisted upon him in a calculated A&R move to boost album sales and increase radio airplay. Once he had achieved a modicum of success, Mellencamp secured the return of his true surname, spending the next decade releasing material as John Cougar Mellencamp. In 1991, Mellencamp finally shed the Cougar, seemingly regaining every ounce of his artistic integrity. Given Mellencamp's tireless efforts to rid his populist work of any corporate influence, the ultra-ubiquitous use of his latest single "Our Country" in conjunction with the promotion of the Chevy Silverado bears every indicia of "corporate sellout." Long gone are the days when PETA member Chrissie Hynde goes to a Gap outlet and knifes a bunch of leather jackets simply because the shopping mall mainstays requested her consent to use one of her songs in a Gap commercial.

To say that the profitable nature of the record business has skyrocketed since the days of Buddy Holly and "Rock Around The Clock" would be an understatement of gargantuan proportion. The evolution of the "music business" has oftentimes seen the focus placed more on business than music. Basic corporate concepts such as skillful marketing plans, profit maximization and good old Gordon Gekko greed, once inimical to the artistry of the music profession, are now commonplace. On one hand, debuting "Our Country" as a placard for the automotive industry could be considered good marketing, but it also qualifies as just another moment in the uncomfortable marriage between art and commerce . . . and not even one of the more egregious ones. What follows are the ten most severe instances of the artistic vision coming under attack by the corporate mindset.

10. Ed Sullivan Tells The Rolling Stones and The Doors To Keep It Clean

Given Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" at the 2004 Super Bowl, it seems almost quaint that CBS and Ed Sullivan once worried about suggestive lyrics being sung on The Ed Sullivan Show. In 1967, The Rolling Stones were slated to make an anxiously anticipated appearance on the legendary variety show and sing "Let's Spend The Night Together." Concerned that the lyrics, tame by today's standards, could prove offensive, CBS censors asked Mick Jagger to change the words. Under threats of being taken off the air if he sang the "offensive" lyric, Jagger complied, rolling his eyes while warbling "let's spend some 'time' together." [The BBC wasn't as prudish] Later that year, the Sullivan show made a similar request to another high-profile artist, but with much different results, Worried that the line, "Girl, we couldn't get much higher," from The Doors' "Light My Fire" promoted drug use, CBS asked The Doors to change the lyric. Playing live without a delay - ah, the trusting pre-wardrobe malfunction era - Jim Morrison got right up into the camera and, much to the dismay of CBSand Sullivan, not only delivered the line unedited, accentuated "higher." The network's crusade to protect tender sensibilities from suggestive rock and roll lyrics didn't succeed. In the aftermath, the two songs went on to be played on classic rock radio a few hundred thousand times without corrupting the nation's youth. However, the same Puritan attitudes exhibited by CBS and those that monitor and oversee network television persist today; Janet Jackson's left breast has not been seen in public since 2004 (at least not without a hand covering it) and the repercussions of her "wardrobe malfunction" are still being felt on network TV and commercial radio.

9. Sony Infects Its Customers' Computers In The Name Of Combating Illegal Copying

In 2005, according to the New York Attorney General, BMG Music placed XCP and MediaMax DRM copy restriction software on a number of CDs, including releases by Trey Anastasio and the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. The software installed its own CD playback software and prevented the music from being downloaded onto the purchaser's computer in an iPOD compatible format. While Sony portrayed their effort as an ideological blow against the illegal copying and exchanging of copyrighted music, it seemed more of a thumb in the nose to the increasingly popular proliferation of Apple's iTunes. In making sure that their programs went undisturbed and iPOD unfriendly, Sony installed cloaking software that not only rendered them undetectable, it interfered with the way Windows played compact discs, opened security holes that permitted viruses to enter the user's system and transmitted certain data to Sony/BMG from the user's computer. When the problems became known to Sony, they acted arrogantly and denied culpability, drawing the ire of Attorney Generals in New York and Massachusetts. By the time Sony was finished making sure no one publicly or privately duplicated their music, they ceased implementing the software, had to offer "patches" the fix the damage done to their customers' computers and faced a class action lawsuit.

8. The Fan Club Pre-Sale Goes Corporate

Many artists have made a practice of allowing registered members of their fan club to purchase tickets for their shows in advance of the general public. For most fan clubs, membership is free and takes only a minute to complete the online form. Savvy marketers that they are, The Rolling Stones were one of the first artists to take the concept one step further, charging a hefty membership fee for inclusion in their fan club. Other bands like The Who, U2 and recently The Police picked up on the practice, which amounts simply to a premium payment of usually $60 or more, for the right to buy advance tickets. Sad enough that bands found a new way to extract money from their fans' wallets, corporate marketers have recently latched on to this trick. For the recent Best Buy sponsored reunion of The Police, members of Best Buy's Rewards Program had the opportunity to purchase tickets even before The Police's fan club, whose membership fee is $100. Norah Jones' recent concert at the Theater at Madison Square Garden was practically sold out through the Target pre-sale by the time tickets were made available to the rest of her non-Target shopping fans. Corporate sponsorship has become an accepted practice within the touring world, but when purchasing preference of quality concert tickets becomes a Best Buy, Target or any other corporate benefit, it's the fans who will truly suffer.

7. The Grateful Dead Removes Their Soundboards From the Live Music Archives

Inherent to The Grateful Dead's mystique was their willingness to permit their fans to bootleg and trade their live shows. Long before other bands would recognize the benefits to be reaped from the free exchange of live music, The Dead created the model from which they would work. With the advent of the Live Music Archives at archive.org, Deadheads entered the digital age, flooding the site with multiple copies of nearly every Dead show ever played; all with the permission and consent of the venerable San Francisco band. The Grateful Dead were not the first band to change their mind about the availability of their shows on the Archives, but their about-face stung their fans the most.



Citing the detrimental effect on present and future archival CD and DVD releases, the Grateful Dead, upon the initiative of Bob Weir, Bill Kreutzmann and Mickey Hart, revoked the consent that permitted the Archives to act as a conduit for the exchange of the Dead's shows, denying fans the opportunity to obtain the music for free so that it could be sold to them in the future. "When the music was given away for free to trade, the band was making so much money touring that the music was not as valuable to them," explained Marc Schiller, who assists the Dead with their online marketing. "Apple iTunes has made digital downloads a business." The Dead underestimated the angry, aggrieved response from their fans: like dire wolves they howled vociferously, adamantly pointing to Jerry Garcia's numerous statements that the music belonged to the fans. Bassist Phil Lesh even chimed in to express his bewilderment over the entire issue. Ultimately, a compromise was reached: fans would still be able to freely download shows recorded by their peers but the better-quality soundboard recordings would remain available as streaming audio only - that is, until the Dead decide to release the show commercially and remove it from circulation.

6. John Fogerty Gets Sued For Plagiarizing Himself

In 1985, John Fogerty, the most identifiable member of Creedence Clearwater Revival, released Centerfield, the album that marked the high-water mark of his post-Creedence recording career. As Fogerty had assigned the copyrights to his CCR material to Saul Zaentz' Fantasy Records as part of a deal to get out of his contract, he was loathe to play his old material lest he generate royalties for Zaentz, a man he despised. Once Centerfield, which contained the scathingly derogatory "Zanz Can't Dance" (ultimately changed to "Vanz Kant Danz"), became a certified hit for Warner Bros., Zaenz retaliated as only a scorned corporate mogul can. In a fit of pique, Zaentz sued Fogerty for infringing the copyrights he held on Fogerty's Creedence Clearwater Revival material. Claiming that Fogerty's hit single "Old Man Down The Road" sounded too similar to Creedence's "Run Through The Jungle," Fantasy Records sued Fogerty, marking the first time in history that a label sued a musician for sounding like themselves. Although the Court declined to set a precedent that a musician cannot plagiarize from himself, Fogerty did win at trial. With guitar in hand, Fogerty took the witness stand and took the jury through the songwriting process of each song, showing that a musician can have an archetypal sound without borrowing from past successes. As Fogerty hadn't played Creedence songs in years, seats for the gallery were filled for his performance/testimony. "I was accused of ripping off myself," Fogerty later marveled. "The little boy in me envisions the day I'll actually segue from 'Old Man' right into 'Run Through the Jungle.'"

5. EMI Sees Things In Black And White – Not Grey

Before DJ Danger Mouse became a household name as the skinnier half of Gnarls Barkley, he stood poised to become a highly publicized defendant to a copyright infringement suit at the hands of EMI. Mixing Jay-Z's raps from The Black Album with musical snippets from The Beatles' White Album, Danger Mouse, nee Brian Joseph Burton, created the cleverly-named The Grey Album. Danger Mouse pressed only 3000 copies: none of which he sold, giving them away to his friends instead. However, in the age of the Internet, The Grey Album became a digital success story with copies being downloaded in record numbers. By exposing Beatles fans to Jay-Z and vice versa, Danger Mouse's 2004 venture transcended the lines that usually bracket musical genres, creating an interpretive work to be enjoyed by everyone . . . except EMI Records. While Sony Music/ATV Publishing, a venture between Sony Music and Michael Jackson, own the publishing side of The Beatles catalog, EMI controls The Beatles' sound recordings on behalf of Capitol Records, Inc. At the peak of The Grey Album's success, the hyper-vigilant EMI sent cease-and-desist letters to Danger Mouse and independent retail outlets carrying the album, effectively ceasing distribution of one of rock's most inventive musical works. The concept of reworking Beatles music and vocals in fresh combinations wouldn't be forgotten though. Two years later, EMI would release Love, a recombination of Beatles music overseen by producer George Martin and his son Giles.

4. Ticketmaster Crushes Pearl Jam

At the apex of their early 90s success, Pearl Jam got the bizarre notion in their head that tickets prices for their shows should be kept reasonable, somewhere around $20. Raining on the grunge rockers parade, Ticketmaster's service charges rendered such a dream relatively impossible. When Ticketmaster proved to be killjoy, remaining inflexible on Pearl Jam's demands that they soften their policies on excessive service fees, Pearl Jam refused to play any arena that sold tickets through Ticketmaster. Quickly, they learned that practically every arena in the United States had an exclusive ticket sales agreement with Ticketmaster and that the corporate behemoth threatened lawsuits against any promoter or arena that breached it by using another distributor. Left with no method of selling tickets, Pearl Jam cancelled their 1994 summer tour and brought an antitrust suit alleging that Ticketmaster used a monopolistic domination of the ticket distribution industry to secure a near 30% markup on tickets sales. In the band's view, Ticketmaster was taking unfair advantage of adolescent passion while unreasonably exploiting a marketplace in which they had no competition. Pearl Jam may have won a fleeting battle when Jeff Ament and Stone Gossard testified before Congress but ultimately Ticketmaster would win the war. By 1995, Congress decided against further investigating Ticketmaster's business practices and Pearl Jam's antitrust lawsuit proved unsuccessful. In 1998, heeding the complaints of their fans, who had difficulty acquiring tickets through alternative distributors, the grunge godfathers returned to Ticketmaster arenas. A true victory in every sense of the word for Ticketmaster, their service charges have doubled since the conflict ended.

3. Geffen Sues Neil Young For Not Sounding Like Neil Young

In 1983, David Geffen enticed Neil Young to sign with Geffen Records for considerably less money than Shakey was being offered elsewhere. The incentive that brought Young into Geffen's fold was the assurance that he could make whatever records he wanted without commercial restraint. Right off the bat, Young explored the new found territories of his freedom, testing the patience of his new label by experimenting with computer generated synth-rock and recording Trans, which gave the world an opportunity to hear what might have happened had "Mr. Soul" been recorded by robots. For his next effort, Young recorded Everybody's Rockin', an album of middling Fifties-style rockabilly tunes. Despite the fact that Young was exerting the exact creative freedom promised to him, Geffen wondered exactly they were getting out of their deal and sued Young for making "uncharacteristic music with no chance of commercial success." Even though Trans and Everybody's Rockin' peaked respectively at #19 and #46 on Billboard's album charts, Geffen seemed miffed that they didn't sound like Harvest or Tonight's The Night and demanded the return of $3 million dollars advanced to Young. In response, Young countersued for $21 million, the value of the entire deal. Although the matter ultimately settled, Geffen Records lost some credibility as a label with a commitment to fostering artistic creativity. Backtracking from the allegations of the suit, Geffen later tried to justify it, "The truth is I fought with [Young] because I wanted him to do better work."

2. The "Special Edition" CD

When music fans worldwide embraced compact disc technology in the Eighties, record companies salivated over the ability to sell them music they already owned, albeit in a higher-quality medium. Over the past 25 years, practically every major, minor and obscure album has been released on CD, leaving the labels with the quandary of having to come up with new music for the public to purchase. From this dilemma sprung the insidious creation of the "special edition" CD. Relying on fans' obsession to own the highest quality version of their favorite album, labels "remastered" them, tacked on a couple outtakes and re-released it in an effort to seek an additional $13.99. Already purchased Aqualung on CD? Well, too bad, because now you missed out on the "special edition" containing an interview with Ian Anderson and alternate versions of three songs off their earlier albums. The practice has pervaded practically any new re-issue. For example, although long available on CD, Arista re-released Patti Smith's Horses as a remastered special edition containing one solitary bonus track ("My Generation") and a "legacy edition" containing a second disc with a live performance of Horses. While nicely packaged and presented, the practice smacks of charging full price for an already available product with little fresh material. The practice has spread to Greatest Hits reissues as well. What better way to boost sales for Aerosmith's fourth Greatest Hits collection than to add on a couple rushed together new songs? Even when the re-issue does it right, like the "special edition" of Bruce Springsteen's Born To Run, the labels use the bona fide extras (e.g. concert footage, classic photos and copious liner notes) as an excuse to obscenely jack up the price.

1. Woodstock 99

Raping their own legacy and sinking to deplorable depths of capitalistic corporate behavior, Woodstock's organizers tried one last time to milk a dollar out of 3 more days of peace love and music. To counteract the storied legions of festival-goers who crashed the gates at the original Bethel, NY concert and its 1994 Saugerties, NY sequel, Woodstock 99 took place at the well-defended Griffiss Air Force Base in Rome, NY. The fenced in, concrete covered space not only kept anyone without a $150 ticket (a steep price at that time) outside the gates, it also trapped in the 90 degree heat. Bringing life to the grizzly yet surefire marketing concept of selling water in the desert, the festival's organizers were more than happy to hydrate the sweltering fans - for $6 a bottle. Contrary to the spirit of brotherhood fostered at the original Woodstock, everything at Woodstock 99 was for sale, with corporate tents and ATMs set up throughout the grounds. By Sunday night, the breaking point had been reached. Limp Bizkit's "Break Stuff" seemed to inspire many in the crowd to recklessness and by the time the Red Hot Chili Peppers launched into Jimi Hendrix' "Fire," rowdy, lawless fans had attacked numerous booths, ruined a great deal of merchandise and destroyed the Woodstock myth beyond repair. Woodstock 99's desire to wring every last cent out of their franchise, to the point of turning the crowd into a dehydrated, captive mass of marketing targets for food, water and merchandise, created the circumstances that led to the perfect storm of revolt against the "noble" corporate goal of maximizing profits at the expenses of the most communal, anti-commercial festival in rock and roll history.

Labels: Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival, DJ Danger Mouse, Grateful Dead, Jay-Z, John Fogerty, Lists, Neil Young, Pearl Jam, The Doors, The Rolling Stones, Woodstock

Since the Earvolution staff put together their list of best cover songs, I thought I might as well get them to list the worst ones. No objective criteria here, but most of these songs either want to make the reviewer turn the dial or cringe when its an otherwise good artist making a mistake. Here goes:

Me (Jeff Davidson):

Zwan - Don't Let Me Down, Beatles.

Of course, most Zwan songs were pretty bad so its no suprise their cover of this great tune didn't cut the mustard either.

Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes, The Who

I'll be honest - I just don't like Fred Durst. I tried to like him back in the early days, but I just can't and therefore turn the channel anytime this overplayed song comes on.

Sheryl Crow - Sweet Child 'O Mine, GNR

I like Sheryl, but this one just doesn't cut it. As crazy as old Axl is these days, he rocked this tune and Sheryl's sweet voice just doesn't do it justice.

Lori Kozlowski:

Perhaps the worst in recent history that I have heard is:
Uncle Kracker's cover of "Drift Away."

The original by Dobie Gray, or even the cover by the Doobie Brothers is so much better. Gray's voice is soulful. And Uncle Kracker, well... Every time, I hear the cover on the radio, it gets the automatic channel change from me.

Jim McCoy:

Dancin' in the Streets
Original Artist: Martha and The Vandellas (Released as single, 1964)
Cover Artist: Grateful Dead Terrapin Station (1977)

The original locked up the 40th spot in Rolling Stones' "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time." The cover is scorned by both Deadheads and classic rock lovers alike. As one might expect, the Dead managed to play outstanding versions of the song outside the confines of the recording studio. Check out Dick's Picks Volume 3 for a tasty version that features lengthy, focused and hypnotic leads by Garcia during a year in which the band was atop its game.

The First Cut is the Deepest
Original Artist: Cat Stevens New Masters (1967)
Cover Artist: Sheryl Crow One Tree Hill Soundtrack (2005)

Although casual music lovers tend to attribute the song to Rod Stewart based on his 1976 studio recording of the tune, the track was actually penned by Cat Stevens and first recorded by female soul vocalist P.P. Arnold in 1967. (Arnold's album was actually released before Stevens' New Masters.) The website Catstevens.com lists six artists besides Crow who have covered the tune. If only it could have remained at six. Crow takes a well-written, introspective song and successfully turns it into a pop nightmare. Thanks, Sheryl.

Crimson & Clover
Original Artist: Tommy James and the Shondells Crimson & Clover (1969)
Cover Artist: Joan Jett & The Blackhearts I Love Rock 'n Roll (1982)

The haunting, tremolo-laced 1969 original seems like an odd choice for treatment by Joan Jett, until one discovers that the Shondells' keyboard player worked with Joan Jett since the beginning of her solo career. Distorted guitars substitute for the original instrumentation, destroying the very vibe that makes the Tommy James original so appealing. This, however, did not stop Ms. Jett’s version from reaching the Top Ten. The original peaked at Number One.

Paul Dobry:

Madonna "American Pie" (Don Mclean)

Before Madge was British she felt justified in taking on this slice of Americana. While crappy canned beats may have started in America ,hearing any reference to a Chevy over top of them gives you that orange juice after you brushed your teeth feeling.

Rufus Wainwright "Hallelujah" (Leonard Cohen)

This cringe inducer almost ruined "Shrek" for me. Not only is this a feeble cover of Buckley's cover, but Wainwright abandons the poetic license meant for the rhyme. He sings "... how to shoot somebody that out drew you." rather than "... that out drew ya." Making the title seem out of place.

The Scissor Sisters "Comfortably Numb" (Pink Floyd)

You have to really hate a song to cover it the way The Scissor Sisters cover "Comfortably Numb." The song is just recognizable enough to infuriate any one who has ever heard a guitar. A disco beats and trill vocals have no place, well anywhere really but giving that treatment to such a well crafted classic rock standard constitutes fightin' words. A bad Gap ad waiting to happen.

The Presidents of the United States of America,
"Video Killed the Radiostar" (The Buggles)

This cover isn't even good enough to warrant biting witty criticism, so instead you get puns. Man this cover is so bad these guys should be impeached. They should be
called the Commanders in Grief. I hope they get assassinated (okay that one isn't so much a pun as just a statement.)

George Thorogood "One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer" (John Lee Hooker)

Thorogood has built a pretty successful career on ruining good Country and Blues
songs with corporate rock gloss. He turns this down-on-you-luck story of heartbreak into a chant for balding men reuniting with their old "frat bros."

Phil Collins "Tomorrow Never Knows" (The Beatles)

It's real easy to poke fun at Phil Collins. Some may think he is an unfairly easy target. I happen to love Phil Collins, and air drum with my entire soul to "In
the Air Tonight." It's sad that this cover is forced onto the same album as such a schlocky masterpiece. It's like Hinduism stripped of soul and mysticism.

Limp Bizkit "Behind Blue Eyes" (The Who)

It's actually quite a nice understated song that speaks of a quiet desperation that is universally identifiable. So, please stop yelling Mr. Durst.

Christopher O'Riley "True Love Waits: Christopher O'Riley Plays Radiohead"

I couldn't decide which reworking on this album a hated the most, so I chose the whole muzaky thing. A lot of overzealous Radiohead fans convinced me to buy this (being an overzealous Radiohead fan myself I took the bait.) Trouble is I hate elevator music. This is the perfect record for the office of a dentist who is trying to assert his hipness without offending anyone.

Marilyn Manson "Suicide is Painless" (Michael Altman/ Johnny Mandell)

The original is introspective, fits in perfectly with the film M*A*S*H and given its
context in the film works on at least 12 different levels (it's melancholy, it's macabre, it's hilarious etc.) Manson's cover fits in with Blair Witch 2: Book
of Shadows because dreadful shite that should have never been made loves company. When subjected to this cover one may view suicide as sweet relief rather than
merely painless.

Beck and Emmylou Harris "Sin City" (The Flying Burrito Brothers)

This one may not be as overtly bad as some of the others, but it just hurts so much more. Beck, Emmylou and The Burrito Brothers are all brilliant writers and performers that are capable of and deserve so much better. The songs falls on its
face as it is stripped of all emotion. Did L. Ron Hubbard put him up to this one?

Rob Dunne:

Satisfaction - Britney Spears covering Rolling stones - how dare she!?!

Sittin' on the Dock - Michael Bolton covering Otis Redding - how f-ing dare he!?!

Heroes - Oasis covering David Bowie - sounds like a weak tribute band covering Oasis trying to play Bowie. Abysmal.

What's Goin On? - Bono and Chris Martin covering Marvin Gaye - they just don't have Marvin's pain.

Mrs. Robinson - Lemonheads covering Simon and Garfunkel - sounds like a bunch of college shitheads arsing around with their new electric guitars.

Morgan Clendaniel:

Dixie Chicks with Sheryl Crow covering Bob Dylan's "Mississippi"

It's hard to even enumerate everything that's wrong with this. There is the insipid fiddle riff that's been added. There is the peppy tempo added to what is, essentially, a very sad song. There is the odd mimicking of early Dylan vocal style, even though that's not the voice that was recorded with. And most importantly, there is the idea that the Dixie Chicks seem to think they can do this song justice just because it's called "Mississippi" and because they are, ostesenibly, country musicians. Atrocious.

David Schultz:

All Along The Watchtower – Dave Matthews Band covering Bob Dylan

This plodding cover tune has become a staple of every Dave Matthews performance, often as the closing tune. In a misguided effort to duplicate Dylan's restrained fury, the DMB version is simply dreary and weighed down with by the band's own sense of self importance. Oh yes, the fact that Jimi Hendrix' laid the blueprint for the perfect way to play the song doesn't help.

Heroes – The Wallflowers covering David Bowie

In a bizarre decision, Heroes, a song inspired by an East German tryst David Bowie observed by the Berlin Wall, was selected to be the signature piece for a Godzilla remake. The Wallflowers, who were in their heyday at the time, unfortunately signed on to record a cover of Bowie's signature piece. Devoid of the passion that the song deserves, the Wallflowers created an unemotional recitation that simply falls flat.

Live And Let Die – Guns & Roses covering Paul McCartney & Wings

Guns & Roses possessed a relatively good track record when choosing songs to cover as evidenced by their relatively restrained version of Knockin' On Heaven's Door. However, on Live and Let Die, the band's bombastic approach is too heavy-handed and Axl's screeching is distracting.

Time Will Tell – The Black Crowes covering Bob Marley

The Black Crowes may be many things, but a reggae band is not one of them. Making the odd choice to close their Southern Harmony & Music Companion with a Marley tune, the Crowes attempt a straight cover without bothering to learn a reggae beat. It ends an otherwise solid album on the flattest of notes.

I Shall Be Released – The Band covering Bob Dylan

It is time to finally discuss the elephant in the room by pointing out that Richard Manuel destroys this song with his cracking wheezing voice. Rather than play the song in a key in which he can sing, the Band chooses one that makes it sound like Manuel is having an asthma attack. Instead of an anthem of peace, the Band created the musical equivalent of fingernails on a chalkboard.

[JD note: There's a solid live version of I Shall Be Released on the U2 "Covering Them" bootleg when Bob joined the lads onstage in LA back in 1987. He also sat in for Knockin' on Heaven's Door, also on that same disc.]

Ripple – Janes Addiction covering the Grateful Dead

Perry Farrell added a host of effects and distortion in a wrongheaded effort to create a trippy version of the Dead classic. The result was a muddled, confused mess. This is a road that no one should travel.

I Got You Babe – UB40 & Chrissy Hynde covering Sonny & Cher

The original version was essentially a novelty tune that worked because Cher was three times the size of Sonny Bono. It neither needed re-recording nor a reggae beat, yet that didn't stop UB40 from enlisting Hynde in this doomed venture. Even more disturbing, the logistics don't work out – Cher had Sonny, Chrissy Hynde has what, the entire band?

The Raven - Lou Reed covering Edgar Allen Poe

Lou's genius takes him many places where the rest of us wouldn't go. Other times it leads him in directions best left unexplored. Reed's profane interpretation / adaptation of The Raven ignores Poe's inventive and intricate wordplay and the result is an angry, vindictive, directionless poem recited over a lackluster guitar beat.

Candle In The Wind (Lady Di version) -- Elton John covering Elton John

No one can blame Elton John for taking his wonderfully poignant ode to Marilyn Monroe and regurgitating it with different lyrics for his friend Lady Di. However, we can all blame Bernie Taupin for taking part in this venture. Surely, he should have known better. When John Lennon died, the pair came up with Empty Garden. Had the well run that dry that needed to infringe on their own copyrights? Where the original has poetry, the Lady Di version sounds like a plagiarized assignment for 10th grade English class.

Nutrocker - Emerson Lake & Palmer covering Tchaikovsky

Not wanting to reserve their pretentiousness to solely classical music, ELP thought they could cover ballet as well. Their ill-advised marriage of synthesizers and the Nutcracker Suite fails to conjure visions of sugar plum fairies. Rather, it raises images of the apocalypse and how if it came before the end of the song, it might not be a bad thing.

Labels: Lists